Mark Zuckerberg and Ignorance

Mark Zuckerberg is completely ignorant of what the people who actually use Facebook are looking for in their social networking experience. It never really occurred to me that the youngest billionaire in history has absolutely no idea what the consumers of his product want. 


Luckily for Mark Zuckerberg he's got me; a mad mother f*ing genius of social marketing. Yeah maybe I made that last part up. He ain’t got me, but he should. Punk should pay me for the brilliant deluge of nerd tears im going to force his tear ducts to unleash upon his sorry ass face. Maybe if he heeds the peoples suggestions, Facebook won't end up the like Justin Timberlake Co-owned MySpace... but really is it any wonder MySpace failed?

Beta Test: First. We the pasty nerds who tan in front of a glowing LCD monitor would like to beta test all of your so called improvements before you make them live on without even a hint of forewarning. You seen the movie Gladiator? Yeah Russell Crowe has no flippin’ idea that tigers are gonna pop up outta the Colosseum floor and maul his Spainardian ass. But then he thinks about it for a moment, oh yeah the guy right there who’s trying to put an ax in my brain is called TIGRIS.
If you don’t understand the analogy well, then you’re a douchebag for having made me explain it right here. When we think of Facebook we SHOULD think of some bullshit idea that they have to make things spice it up, but that usually slips our minds until its too late and they are just mauling our faces with a friggin Tiger! (I honestly would prefer to be mauled by something more cute and cuddly like a Panda or maybe a Penguin) anyway I digress forward towards our goal!

We the people would like chat to actually function. We want to be able to see EVERYONE who is online. We would also like to be able to organize our friends into lists, so that we may actually talk to whom we wish. For example: I have a list titled “Women whom I would give my left testicle to tussle under the sheets with.” You see these are clearly people that I desire greatly to speak with. So what if they don’t have any idea who I am!

Newsfeeds: Secondly we would like our newsfeed to have a few different tabs, but we want them to WORK! Heres some ideas of mine.

Top news: This was good leave it how it used to be, it was useful

Most Recent: Yeah leave it how it was it was fine. Except remove all those damned who friended who pieces of crap. Give those their own tab that we never have to look at.

Listed News: Lists of friends that we’ve made so we can more easily access what the people that we put into a certain list are up to, this way we can filter out all the BS that we don’t want to see. For example: My “Stupid Douchebag boys who think they’re cool” list. This way I could simply click on that tab in the Newsfeed and see what these jackwagons are up to so that I may spam their posts about drinking a half gallon of 151 with Troll Faces and Rick Rolls. That should teach em to have a real social life.

Groups:  Next we don’t want to be added to groups just by any person. I’m sorry, as much fun as it is to be added to the group “I have a TWIHARDON” (That means hard-on for Twilight.) and make fun of them, by explaining that its creepy as hell for a hundred year old man to watch you sleep is. Please Facebook its not that hard give us an Accept, ignore, or REMOVE THIS RETARD FROM MY FRIENDSLIST FOR REQUESTING THAT I JOIN THIS GROUP option.

Anyway thats about all I can think of for now. Leave comments, questions or concerns below.

Troy Davis and Ignorance.

Ignorance is a filthy parasite; engorged daily by suckling on the brains of uncounted denizens dwelling within the bowels of the Internet, and Americas municipal waste centers, and I’m here to stamp it out, with a vengeance.

Recently a man by the name of Troy Davis was executed. Who was convicted of murdering a Police Officer by the name of Mark Macphail. As you may know over the time period of twenty years, 7 of the 9 witnesses have recanted their testimonies. This created a maelstrom of doubt amongst many American citizens. Including the likes of former president President Jimmy Carter. Another notable member of society backing Mr. Davis is none other that Pope Benedict XVI. OKAY! If you got the pope backing your sorry Grim Reaper dating ass, someone along the lines is gonna give you a break right? Nope. Troy Davis didn’t get a break. He got a small puncture wound instead, and a burning dosage of Potassium Chloride.

In case you lovely soon to be informed members of the interwebs were unaware, being injected with Potassium Chloride kills you! VIOLENTLY! It literally burns your body to death from the inside out. It is extremely painful to be injected with. 

The inmates who are being executed don’t writhe in pain merely because of the other two chemicals used in the lethal injection process, one chemical knocks you out whilst the other causes seizure of the lungs so one can no longer breathe. Sound humane to you? No its not. Its ridiculous, and no human being should ever have to endure such a fate.

That however is not the main pimple of ignorance upon the Internets rapist glasses wearing face I wanna pop. I wish to explain to the trendy topic spam bots jizzing over the “Casey Anthony got a book deal , but Troy Davis got a last meal.” Tweet. Troy Davis REFUSED his last meal LIKE A BOSS. He instead chose to spend all of his remaining time here on earth with his family and loved ones before being whisked away to Valhalla like the true human rights warrior he was. I pay homage to this man. If he is later found innocent by some miracle that overturns the courts decision, I believe that all those involved who allowed this innocent man to be executed. Should they themselves be placed on trial, for some crime. You guys decide?

Continuing on in some minor issues here of dispelling the Twithores, foolish rants. Charles Manson, did not kill anyone. He was in fact convicted of conspiracy to commit murder, but by the joint-responsibility rule was given the death penalty but by, some zany nonsense Supreme Court of California ruling was given a life sentence instead, because capital punishment was temporarily repealed. Later to be reinstated, but this reinstitution of the law did not affect our wild wolfman esque looking Charles Manson.



So America, as my friend Duke Nukem would say I do believe it is time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all outta gum. Kicking ass of course referring to KICKING SOME MOTHER F*ING ASS!


If you have an questions or comments or concerns please leave them below. I will address each and every one of them.

First Blog

Woot! I'm not sure what the hell im supposed to be doing, I think I'm gonna go stroke some Panda cubs though.